So You Wanna Watch Your Wife Get Fucked by Another Guy. Here's the Ultimate Guide.
The complete guide to talking to your wife about a hotwife or cuckold relationship
You can’t get that image out of your mind.
When you close your eyes, your imagination runs wild and images of your oh-so-sexy wife bent over a small, round coffee table getting fucked from behind by someone else flood your brain. The thought turns you on to no end.
You picture her on her knees servicing him with a blowjob while you look on from the other side of the room. You wonder how long its been since she’s felt this excited with you as you enjoy watching his stiff cock pass through her lips.
The coffee table rocks back and forth with each and every thrust as he pounds her into oblivion. Her legs shake, her hips quake, and her knees buckle with delight. Her ecstatic bliss is your bliss; her sexual enjoyment is your sexual enjoyment.
The excitement of these fantasies feels so taboo. It feels risky. But you just can’t stop thinking about it. You wish you could talk to her about it but you feel like you’ll just wind up embarrassing yourself or worse, you might upset her.
If this sounds like you, you want to make sure you cover all your bases before you open your big mouth. That’s what this here guide is for. I can’t guarantee she’ll say yes, but I can say if you follow my advice, you’ll increase the likelihood of being successful.
Then you’ll finally get to watch her bare-ass naked having sex right in front of your wide-open eyes.
Checklist Before You Discuss It
Here’s a checklist of things you want to go over and become certain about before you bring it up. This stuff all takes place in your own head.
Know your motivations
Before you dive headfirst into the discussion, take a moment to understand your motivations. What is it about the hotwife or cuckold fantasy that appeals to you? Is it a desire for novelty, a kink you've discovered, or perhaps something more complex? Do you want your partner to have an amazing time? Do you want to feel like you can make her do slutty things for you?
Knowing your own reasons is essential because it will help you articulate your feelings to your wife or girlfriend.
Step out of the fantasy
To better understand your motivations, try to imagine the fantasy in different ways (preferably when you’re not jerking off). Imagine thing going wrong. Imagine the dude you pick blowing his load in like 43 seconds and then the whole scenario is over. That exact scenario happened to a friend of mine so don’t think it can’t happen!
Picture her being quiet and not animatedly fucking like a porn star in front of you because she’s having a mediocre time because the sex isn’t great. All of these are possibilities. Fantasize about all the different possibilities and fantasize about her responses to the different scenarios.
The reality of watching her have sex isn’t going to be like your fantasy, it’s going to be different. Not only will this prepare you for how to handle these situations but it’ll also help you get to the root cause of your motivations.
Test yourself
If she’s not overflowing with loud screams of ecstasy, does that ruin the fantasy for you? Here’s one that’s challenging for a lot of people: what if she loses herself in the sex and starts fucking the guy in a way that you didn’t anticipate, doing things with him she doesn’t do with you?
What if he brings out her wild side in a way that you can’t? Let’s say she’s reluctant to give you blowjobs or anal sex but with him, she takes one look at his cock and wants to swallow it with her mouth and ass. Picture that.
I’m serious, do it right now.
How does it feel to imagine? Now, which of these more accurately reflects how you’re feeling when you think about it?
I’d love that. As long as she’s happy, I’m happy. If exploring her sexuality means doing things with other people she doesn’t do with me, so be it. After all, we’re sharing this experience together.
I would be hurt, maybe even furious. Why don’t I get to do those things with her but this guy who doesn’t know her like I do does? This is unfair. I get exploring sexuality and all, but I wanted this to be like I imagined.
Okay, so I’m not defending anybody who crosses or ignores preset boundaries during threesomes. The point is to feel out where your real motivations lie and by doing so, you’ll also find out what kind of partner you are.
If you wouldn’t support her if she got into the middle of the situation and wanted to do something she doesn’t normally do with you (maybe because the situation itself is so irresistibly hot, having you watch her), and she verbally asked you if it was okay, you have to understand why she might be hesitant when you ask her to fuck someone in front of you.
If she can’t lose herself in the experience and fulfill her fantasies while fulfilling yours, there’s an imbalance there. These are the things you want to hammer out before you bring up the conversation and especially before you invite someone into your bedroom. That way, you’ll know where you stand instead of just assuming you know everything.
If you don’t push the boundaries of the fantasy you’ll never have a clue how it will play out in real life.
Have a plan for her response
You want to prepare yourself for the actual conversation if you want to improve your odds of her being receptive. Envision how she will respond to your proposal in various ways—don’t assume she’s going to say yes automatically.
When bringing up kinks (or any weighty subject really) a lot of people make the mistake of automatically assuming things will go well.
Then, the moment things start to go wrong, they realize they didn’t think what to say or do in the event things did, in fact, go wrong. They find themselves flustered, then things spiral out of control, and it all ends badly.
Prepare for three possible scenarios: yes, no, and maybe. I’m serious when I say imagine these responses happening to you. Close your eyes and make it clear.
Everyone forgets that there’s a distinct possibility that the answer will be “maybe, but I need to think about it more,” which they assume means, “yes, but not now,” and they become overeager and turn their partners off to the idea. You don’t want to damage your relationship because you reacted poorly to a proposition.
I’ll dig into each of these a little bit more later but you want to picture these conversations so you can prepare for each type of answer. Once you’ve completed all these exercises, it’s time to get down to the actual conversation.
Have the Conversation the Right Way
Start by creating a safe space for open communication. Find the right time and place. A setting that encourages openness, trust, and privacy is paramount. Make sure you won't be disturbed and that you both have ample time to converse. You want to make sure you get the mood right, too.
Not too serious, not too casual.
Navigating unconventional desires is a delicate task.
It’s not a conversation you casually throw out while you’re binge-watching your latest Netflix series.
If that sounds obvious, let me just say, you’d be surprised how many people don’t think setting is important. It’s not the usual small-talk you bring up at the dinner table like asking how your partner’s day was.
Being too casual about it will make your partner think you don’t really care and that you expect them to try it with you. Looking like you think you’re entitled to something isn’t a good look.
At the same time, I’ve seen and experienced people who turned bringing up their kinks into massive spectacles, elaborate, theatrical displays. I believe people do this when they’re looking for resolution to the tension inside.
They want an answer, usually a “yes, I’ll do whatever you want, surely you can watch me bang your boss butt-naked on a rooftop helipad, if that’s your ultimate fantasy, I’m bursting at the seams to try it!” They think the effort and intensity they put into the conversation will ensure success.
You can guess what happens next.
Their partner feels pressured and reflexively digs in and becomes defensive. It’s already going to be a surprise so if you make it into too big of a deal, she’s likely to respond with, “Okay, what’s the trick here?” You don’t want her to feel like she’s being manipulated.
Find a balance by making sure you sure her you’re serious and not playing a game or bringing something up that you’re uncertain about, but also don’t make a huge spectacle about it that might scare her.
Remember: this is a fact-finding mission, you want to see if you can find a compatible middle ground. This is about empathy, not making your wife or girlfriend submit to your will so you can have your fantasy.
If you bring it up in a context that’s not related to the two of you (like “I saw someone online who was talking about how he wanted his girlfriend to have sex with another dude in front of him”) you can kind of gauge her level of interest in the idea, but her response to some stranger online might not be the same as her response to the idea that you two try it.
Maybe do this a few times first but don’t make it obvious. Make a quick joke or comment about it and change the subject to something else. DON’T start your actual conversation like this.
Dealing with yes, no, and maybe
When you bring it up, there are three possible answers, though they won’t be straightforward. Sometimes, people give non-answers after all. Here’s how you should respond to her answers:
Yes:
If the answer is yes, great. You lucked out. Now, stay calm! Don’t blow a load in your shorts quiet yet! It’s crucial that you stay calm even if you’re doing backflips of excitement inside, because you want to demonstrate to her that you’ve thought long and hard about this and it’s a decision you’re making with prudence and certainty.
Try to mirror her excitement level.
Also, don’t overload her with a bunch of information telling her all the sixty-five ways you’ve imagined watching her get banged, and don’t go intimidating her by saying things like, “I want you to take a huge 16” cock up your ass,” right off the bat.
Only start sharing fantasies if her excitement matches yours and she tells you she’s been fantasizing about it, too (or if she asks).
No:
If the answer is no, it’s unfortunate. I know what it feels like to put a lot of effort into a project only to have my hopes dashed by someone else (as almost my entire relationship history can attest).
There are two types of “no” answers. Both of them are equally firm. A no is a no. There’s the straight-up “no” which may take the form of something like, “There’s no way in hell I’m doing that,” and the soft “no” which might be something like, “Thank you for telling me you have this fantasy, but it’s not really my thing.”
Picture yourself hearing that news, no matter how devastating you think it will be, and coming to terms with the fact that your fantasy will never become reality.
Accept that possibility before you bring it up to her. Practice saying, “Okay, I understand, thank you for hearing me out.”
If you get a “no” you must not bring it up again.
But there’s something you can do as a last-ditch effort that might just work, but it’s highly unlikely—never speak about the issue again. Don’t say another word about it.
Pestering someone isn’t going to make them want to try your kink. But silence might make them ask you about it and then you can calmly have the conversation in a different scenario (she’ll think she brought it up).
At this point, if voyeurism is seriously something you think you need to have a happy, healthy, fulfilled sex life, it’s time to weigh the pros and cons of staying in your current relationship without it or leaving your current relationship if you think you can find it elsewhere.
Mismatched sexuality can make all parties in a relationship unhappy. Unless there are kids or other responsibilities to consider, and they should be considered, nobody’s doing anybody any favors by staying in a relationship that makes them miserable. It’s time to think long and hard about what you really want.
Maybe:
This one is both tough and it’s the most likely response she’ll have. Most women are going to want to know more before they commit. Many more conversations need to be had, which is why it’s important to imagine this all so you don’t come off as over-eager if you get a yes or maybe.
If it’s maybe, you want to be extremely supportive. Let her talk. If you just get a straight-up “maybe” ask some questions! “Okay, care to elaborate?” I am almost certain she’ll respond with what I responded with when I was put in that situation: but I already have you.
This might catch you off guard.
The reason I replied with that is because I was open to the idea but I didn’t want to make it sound like I was dying for some new dick. It’s easy to say the wrong thing in such a delicate situation and hurt your partner’s feelings.
She’s probably anticipating a set up, like the very next thing you say will be, “What, am I not good enough for you?”
Practice offering some reinforcement, saying things like, “I absolutely love our sex life, it’s something really special.
I want this fantasy because I want to see and experience more of you in a more intimate way, not because I want to see and experience more in general.”
Make it about her and her enjoyment too, but also remind her that you want to have a shared experience with her. This is crucial.
Prepare for Objections
When you bring it up, her mind will probably start scrambling as she wonders how to respond.
Smooth over any objections so she feels more secure. You want to acknowledge you understand that the reality won’t be exactly like your fantasies and that you understand and care about the risks involved. This shows you’re responsible. If she has concerns, let her know you’ve thought long and hard about these:
Jealousy: One of the most significant concerns with hotwifing or cuckolding is jealousy. Your wife might worry that you enjoy the fantasy, but once things get going, you’ll feel left out or replaced. Address this issue with care and understanding. The exercises you did earlier should prepare you for this so you can respond honestly.
Insecurity: Hotwifing can sometimes trigger insecurities. Reassure your partner of your love and commitment. Remind her that this is a fun exploration for you both, not something you need to fulfill something inside of yourself.
Her feelings: There are numerous reasons she might not be jumping to indulge your fantasy. It could be that your relationship isn’t as solid as you thought it was. Maybe she’s nervous about having another man she doesn’t know that well see her naked. Think these possibilities through and be ready and willing to support her by acknowledging and respecting her feelings throughout it all. If she thinks she’ll be nervous with another guy she doesn’t know as well as you staring down at her butthole while he pounds her from behind, suggest taking some time and getting to know your third before getting down to the actual sex.
Communication Breakdown: It's possible that this conversation might lead to misunderstandings or miscommunications. Stay patient and be prepared to explain and clarify your feelings and intentions.
Other Important Tips
Honesty is the Best Policy: Begin by honestly expressing your feelings. Share your thoughts, desires, and what intrigues you about hotwifing. Remember, candor is the cornerstone of a successful discussion.
Listen Attentively: Give your partner the space to express her thoughts and feelings. Make it clear that her perspective is vital to you. Remember, a conversation is a two-way street.
Establish Boundaries: Discuss the boundaries and limits of what you're proposing. What is and isn't acceptable? Setting clear guidelines will help both of you navigate this new terrain safely.
Address Her Concerns: Your partner might have concerns or reservations about a hotwife or cuckold reality and not just fantasy. Be ready to address them calmly and respectfully. Avoid being dismissive or judgmental.
Educate Together: If she says yes or maybe, suggest that you both educate yourselves about hotwifing. Read articles, books, forums, or even watch some porn together. This can foster understanding and create a shared foundation of knowledge and expectations. If you watch porn, talk about what you see, what you like, what you don’t like, and what you think is possible.
Consider a Trial Period: If your partner is open to the idea but still uncertain, propose a trial period with strict rules and clear communication. This can help alleviate fears and build trust. Remember, you can never take back a threesome. Once it happens, you can’t scrub it out of your mind. A trial period doesn’t have to involve someone else. You could fantasize about it together when you have sex from time to time (don’t ask her to indulge your fantasy every single time, that way you show her you can take it or leave it). Whether she says “yes” or “maybe” doesn’t matter, you should fantasize about it together and role-play before the real thing anyway. My ex-boyfriend and I fantasized about it for months during sex before we actually invited someone else into our bedroom.
Remember the Art of Compromise
Remember, having a successful conversation about your kinky desire to watch her take a cock every which way often comes down to compromise. Don’t rush to get a “yes” out of her that you can hold over her head later, don’t push her, and don’t pressure her.
This is important: the entire time you should drop hints that remind her that you’re okay no matter what the outcome. “I’ve thought long and hard about this, and it’s okay if you say no, I understand if you’re not interested in it, but I’ve fantasized about it a lot and think it would be a great experience for both of us. Maybe we can talk about it?”
Consider these compromises:
Fantasies vs. Reality: If your wife isn't ready to jump into full-fledged banging other dudes, discuss the possibility of just indulging in the fantasy for a while. Role-playing can be a safe way to explore your desires together.
Exploration vs. Exclusivity: If your partner is hesitant about opening up your relationship, talk about the option of exploring hotwifing in a controlled and exclusive way. Perhaps you can start by sharing fantasies and stories, then slowly progress if both of you are comfortable.
Consent is Key: Whatever path you choose, ensure that both of you give enthusiastic consent and are on the same page. No one should feel coerced or uncomfortable.
Throughout this conversation, maintain a foundation of support and respect for your wife. If she's open to the idea, take steps together to ensure both of you are comfortable with the process. This might involve discussing sexual health, boundaries, and safe practices.
Remember, hotwifing or cuckolding should enhance the connection between you and your partner, not detract from it, just like any other aspect of a relationship. Keep your love, trust, and communication as the cornerstones of your journey into this uncharted territory. Show her that you love and support her all the way through no matter what the outcome will be.
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If you wanted to read up on some of my fantasies like this one check this out:
Naughty Fantasies With Boys All Around Me
Imagining a few dicks pointed at me, attached to men with staring eyes moving up and down my body as they anticipate the eruption of sex about to unfold really turns me on. It’s one of those taboo fantasies that even I only dare touch occasionally. Thinking about the motion of the bodies, losing track of who’s doing what to me where, swimming in a sea of sensuality—all of it is a major turn-on.